What I usually go for requires a ten dollar ticket for the most part. It seems to be like a rule or something, that all the "cool" events are ten dollars. Anyway, in the past I didn't really mind it because it wasn't something that was going to make or break me. However, after having to get a new tire and several out of town friends come to visit, I need to cool the spending. Not to mention that gas is so. fucking. expensive. So is therapy, really.
After poking around, I found some really awesome free events that are right up my alley. Who knows if they'll do anything other than get me out into the world, but at this point, I'll take it. It would do me good to be doing things again. I've let myself get overwhelmed with work and personal obligations, and after allowing myself some breathing room, I can see that there is time to do things for me. It'd be nice to meet someone, but I'm not all "I must meet someone." I just want to practice being social. Which sounds so stupid, but I really need to work on making small talk and holding myself confidently without looking pissed. A good dose of social graces would be much appreciated by all, I'm sure.
So, we're starting small. I'm trying to do three things in April. That's it. Just three. All of them are free, all of them are interesting, and all of them would hopefully draw people who hold similar values as myself. I mean, I can talk at these things with some level of knowledge about the topic, and I'm assuming so are they. Put me in a bar I'm absolutely clueless. Which is why I avoid the whole bar dating scene. It only ends badly, and makes me want to hit someone.
I have the dates written down, and I'm committed to doing them. Even if I'm exhausted, I'm going to do it. I know I always find the energy once I'm there, and nearly always enjoy myself. It's just getting myself there. There is some sort of mental block that I need to shake. Best way I can think to do it is simply run it over, proving to myself that all it really is just a mental block, nothing more.
I find it frustrating how much achieving my goals and spending money seem to go hand in hand. In looking over our spending for the past year, I found that it would go in waves because we would get super-productive and start fixing things around the apartment or finishing up various projects, all of which costs money. Or I would decide I needed to make more of an effort to see my friends, which meant lunches in the city or food for parties at our apartment.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that helped me feel better about this was reading a lot of Ramit Sethi's stuff and watching his TV interviews. One of his mantras is to cut costs mercilessly on things that aren't important to you so that you can spend extravagantly on the things that are important. For me it's a balance between saving for the important things in the future and allowing myself to enjoy some important things now.
It sounds like you've discovered the same thing I did when I committed to "say yes to social events" -- that it's usually worth the effort to go even if staying at home seems more inviting. I hope all of your upcoming events are enjoyable for you!
You're so right about the ten-dollar rule. Right now I live a comfortable life (at least by the standards of a college student), but this summer I'll be working less. Less work means less income, less income means less ability to go out and do fun things. Movie ticket? 10 bucks. Concert? Over 10 bucks. Gas to get to either of these places? Your firstborn freakin child. I have all of these lofty goals, but the world loves to nickel and dime us. It's the cost of being social.
ReplyDeleteIt's exciting that you found some free events. It will get you out of the house and seeing the world again - when the burdens of the real world collide against you, it's so easy to just shut down, stay inside, and block out the world. You also seem very self-aware. You know that you have some mental blocks and you're actively working to break them down. That, in itself, is a wonderful stage of enlightenment. And from that state you lay the foundation for achieving true change. Not that I think you need to change, of course. You're awesome just the way you are. But it never hurts to practice being social. I consider myself an extrovert and I still find that I need to practice a lot of my people skills. I look forward to reading about your next adventures!
~Shane
I've never really gone out to events because I've never been able to afford them. I kind of want to start though.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found some free events. It's always good to be able to get out instead of shutting yourself in.