Proof the Grinch's Heart Can Grow

Fair warning: This post has little to do with the Rabbit Hole. Although, I do have one in the next few days

I'll be perfectly honest.

I, on the whole, I hate Christmas.

I hate the craziness.
I hate everyone pretending that everyone is fine.
I hate having to play nice.
I hate the awkward family gatherings.
I hate the same damn songs on the radio all the time.
I hate how I am reminded of who I've lost.
I hate undue sentimentality.
I hate being asked about my dating life.

This year?

Well, I can't say that I love Christmas, but I don't seem to mind it too much.

Maybe it's meeting my godson, standing with him as he was baptized, playing with him afterwards.
Maybe it's not being so tired I could collapse and sleep until spring.
Maybe it's being completely content and happy for the first time in a very long time.
Maybe it's growing up some.

And there are still ups and downs. There are still awkward family moments and undue sentimentality. I still need to play nice and make small talk like nothing is wrong. I still have to answer that I'm not seeing anyone. But it isn't draining on me like it was before.

I'm happy.

I've felt it for a while, and other people are starting to notice. From my father to my aunts, everyone has commented on how much happier I am now than they ever can remember. I'm happier than I can remember for a long while.

There is a change in me, and this season is bringing it out.

I laughed at the snow and recorded it for all my southern friends who wished a white Christmas for me.  I laughed at the snow! I haven't laughed in delight about snow in a very long time.


And so I leave you with this. The best cover of a Christmas carol in the history of covers of Christmas carols. A definite improvement over the usual Christmas musical fare.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan