Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats your out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter that works its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman
I found this quote this afternoon.
I'm still processing it.
Parts of this I buy into wholeheartedly.
People wander into and our of our lives with astonishing speed.
We give pieces of ourselves away.
Tiny little things like smiles capture our hearts.
Vulnerability can make us hurt in ways we didn't know existed.
Heartache is real.
Yet?
I like that love gets inside us.
Sometimes what hurts us the most is exactly what we need.
We need to be vulnerable to interact with others.
Our armor has chinks in just the right places.
None of us ask for things... they simply happen, and they're all gifts.
What do you think?
Ah, love. There is no easy answer to this question. Like you, I have mixed feelings toward the topic...enough that I could probably write an essay. Love can change one's life for the better...but there are so many ways it can go wrong. You can lose that person. Worse, your love can turn sour.
ReplyDeleteWhen love comes into your life, it changes you completely. Makes you happy. When you lose it, that anguish rips you into pieces. But you become a little stronger each time you stitch yourself back together. I think that's the true purpose in love. Not permanence. Nothing is ever guaranteed. But exposure to the principle makes you stronger and more resistant to change. Those who never learn to be vulnerable never experience emotional growth.
Love is quite a complicated subject, but at risk of being long-winded, here are my thoughts:
ReplyDeleteWhile we can build up all the defenses we like and make fortresses of our hearts, Cupid is a tricky sort, and can always find a way inside to shoot us up with his arrows. When those arrows are pulled out, it often hurts, because they take little pieces of us with them. When that happens, we do our best to patch ourselves back up again, but as U2 once said, you can sew it up, but you still see the tear.
The thing is, when (and it really is when, because to think otherwise would kill our hearts with bitterness) that one special person comes along, they come to us with all the pieces and parts we need for our hearts to be whole again, and we have the same things to offer them. We allow these people to pass through the many gates guarding our hearts and give them those things that they need freely, because that's what love is.
I don't know. I mean, I believe in my happily ever after, and a love who will climb inside and never leave, you know? But until then, my views on love chance. Or my views on who I've loved. It was amazing while I loved them, terrible at the ending, and now I can look back and appreciate what I learned and move on.
ReplyDeleteLove is as dangerous as it is powerful. When it's right, it has the power to change the world, to alter everything.
ReplyDeleteWhen it's wrong, or it fades and disappears, it tears everything apart.
I think for the most part, I agree with Neil Gaiman. Except for the hating it part. I think it's impossible to hate something that at some point can make you feel so wonderful.