30 April 2012

Take Me Away To Better Days

Tonight, I had dinner with team!friend, and we got to talking about how we both need to get out there and, you know, meet people.

I had all sorts of plans for this month. Unfortunately, I've been dealing with a  few random ass situations that came out of the clear blue and it's left me emotionally drained. Really, I'm sad panda friend now. Which isn't to say that it won't get better, it will, but  it's been more of an uphill climb than I was anticipating. Seriously, who wants to meet Alice when she is all sad panda?

Anyway, team!friend made the comment to me that I'm not nearly as shy as she is. The thing is? I totally am. Even more so, really. However, I've come to a decision. I am painfully shy. And I hate going out and trying to be social. Like, I am so fucking awkward it is insane. What I hate, even more though, is the idea of being single for the rest of my life.

Drama much?
Yes... yes, that was full of drama.
Deal.
I am claiming gimpy right ovary.
Yes... yes I went there.
Deal.

Trust me, I am perfectly content to come home, do what I need to do, and watch some serious Doctor Who. Maybe if I'm feeling really wild I'll throw in some sort of crafting. As much as I love this, and I do love it, Jack Harkness isn't going to come through the screen and whisk me away. Although, if wishing made it so... That right there should tell you a hell of a lot about me. A hell of a lot. I actually need to be going out and meeting people. How can I say there is no one when I am not out there giving anyone a chance? I mean, I'm not even giving them a chance to see me, much less know me.

In other news, next post will be my 100th post. I'm kinda sorta pretty much really looking forward to it :)

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3 comments:

  1. Melbourne on my MindApril 30, 2012 9:33 PM

    Oh, HAI, twin who's five years younger than me. Social awkwardness and insane shyness FTW! *sigh* Although I don't have a gimpy right ovary to blame stuff on. I guess that means you win?
    <3

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  2. ShaneiferdJune 03, 2012 8:30 AM

    Don't beat yourself up. You've had a lot on your plate these last few months, so nobody can fault you for not meeting some of your goals. Survival of random ass situations always come first. Priorities, right?

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  3. AnonymousJuly 09, 2013 2:43 PM

    Try not to beat yourself up when life hits you like this. Sometimes, things get really shitty, and there is nothing wrong with taking the time to let it take its toll before you go forward with your life. If the emotions that are draining you don't get the chance to play out they bottle up and explode at the worst of times.

    You're wonderful. And you'll grow beyond this. Just give yourself time :)

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