Anything Could Happen

But now I've seen it through

And I know the truth

That anything could happen

What is it about late October? 

Year after year I am reminded that anything could happen.

Anything. 

Some of it horrible. 

Some of it wonderful. 

All of it adding up to something greater than the sum of the parts.

This time of year gives me such markers to see just how much I've grown and changed as a person. Over the past nine years I've seen myself go from a teenager drowning to a woman thriving. I've felt  a heart on the verge of collapse, empty and broken, and felt it coming back stronger and more full than I thought possible. Nine years ago it seemed like my world was ending. Now I see nothing but possibility.

I find myself gaining an air of confidence that I haven't had in a long time. The best part is? It's coming from me, not from others around me. I've seen the changes in myself for a little while now, and recently other's have started to notice them, too. I feel better about myself than I have in a long time. It has nothing to do with how I wear my hair or the number inside my dress or the money I have in my account. It has everything to do with knowing that no matter what happens, everything will work out for the best, and I can handle it. I know better when to cling to my pride and when to swallow it. I'm more and more like Salome, removing my veils one by one, eliminating the bullshit I let take over. I find contentment in simply being.

Maybe the precipice isn't so scary after all.

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The other posts I promised are coming. Posts about fancy dresses and giving my name as Ethel and how I showed up at my parents wedding reception thirty years late. A lot of notes are on team!friend's phone, we're having technical difficulties getting them over to me, and let's face it: I don't want to copy them down again by hand. They shall be coming soon, because, let's be honest, I've neglected this poor blog long enough.