I am very good at making you think what you want to think about me. I can whip out one of plethora of personas depending on what you want to see and what the situation calls for.
Passive Alice
Assertive Alice
Conservative Alice
Liberal Alice
Serious Alice
Silly Alice
Hardass Alice
Sensitive Alice
Indifferent Alice
Passionate Alice
Everything in between.
All of this came appear to be quite the contradiction. Exhibit A - I had neon pink hair, but would hardly talk in public. Exhibit B- I have a tattoo from a novel my mother considers to be smut, but I hold I job that needs me to be as palatable as possible. And I still don't talk much in public.
I can be quiet and polite and the model of Emily Post, or I can be loud and obnoxious and all over the place.
It was one of those life lessons that, while not directly taught, was taught. The best way to keep my nose clean as a child was to do what I was told, behave how I was expected to behave, and voice the opinions that others held. Somwhere along the line, I started shifting me between the private, real me, and the public, conforming me. I don't quite know how to undo it, mostly because I find my ability to morph so helpful. It makes life a lot easier when I can present the most appropriate front. It's easy, but it's not always right.
But then, when I'm with my friends, my genuine friends, and the spotlights are off, and there is no threat of judgement, I can be very much myself. The real me doesn't do labels very well, and that's okay. I can be all over the map. I can be all of those things at the same time, and somehow, there are a few who love me in spite of it.
I'm down with that.
We really are the same person, aren't we...
ReplyDeleteI love that you are so many people...each trait you possess, whether hidden or right out there makes you you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm all for that...'cause you're wonderful!
Yep. I think a lot of people can relate to this having different sides thing. No one is quite as simple as they appear.
ReplyDeleteFinding those people who like all of you? Amazing.
Lor
I hear you - I think we are all different to the various different people we have in our lives. That's why I called my blog "There is More Than One Kind of Me".
ReplyDeleteOh, I completely relate to this. You and I have talked about what it means to have different personas, different masks. To morph and change and become the person that you need to be in the situation. Instead of being the person we really are, we become who others expect us to be. It's so easy to lose track of your identity in that process. (My next post, the one that got delayed, actually talks about this in greater detail).
ReplyDeleteI think it's a strength and a weakness. It becomes harder for us to understand who we truly are...but it also makes us more versatile, no? I think adaptability is a great asset when used correctly.
I think we all go through periods where we're a multitude of different versions of us. It's all part of trying to find out who we really are, and which parts of those different versions fit into who we are.
ReplyDelete