Tonight is no exception.
Our little posse was hanging out tonight, and I was talking about my cousin's baby shower that is quickly approaching and how I'm all excited. Then this segued into how if we were pregnant, none of my friends would want to have random people touch their belly. Then one of my girlfriends said that we'll have shirts made that say "Don't touch me!" in neon lettering. I laughed it off and, knowing that hoodie!boy was within ear shot I said "Well, it's not like I'm doing any baby making. I don't even know who the hell I would date down here."
Mean? Maybe. It was a definite statement. A challenge. Put simply: "Show me." If you want me, prove it to me. Not in the form of another game, but actually pursing me wholeheartedly.
However, would I actually say this? No. Because let's be honest, as much as I find the game maddening, I also like it. I like the attention. I like that it breaks up my rather monotonous existence. I like it that it reminds me that I am a woman. A spade is a spade, there is no denying that.
So the answer is passive aggressiveness and snark? Apparently tonight it was.
And then Karma found her way into the situation. Maybe not on purpose, but I learned to chase away those Neptune thoughts.
Right before we were all about to go our separate ways, hoodie!boy mentions how chicky!poo was over at his place just to say hello and how his cat bit her. Yes, chicky!poo is back
Was it a direct response to my comment? I doubt it. Still, I learned that comments like that can hurt. I know I'm more attached to him then he is to me, or at least I show it more. God knows I can't read the man's mind. It still hurt. And this is all very "I'm bent out of shape because the boy I wanted to ask me to prom decided to take *her* instead." Trust me. I get that. I got that the second I got all jealous about her running around in his suit coat last week.
Jealousy is not an attractive characteristic. For real. Who wants to know anyone one possessed by the green eyed monster? I have more grace and poise than that. I know I do. Besides, I'm, you know, a twenty five year old highly educated woman who has a career and not a foolish teenage girl.
In other news, I am committed to going to this wine and chocolate tasting on Friday. I was invited by baby!boy to go out partying on Friday, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going. A) It's going to end up costing me more money that I really have to spend. B) I'm kind of over the getting trashed for the sake of getting trashed and C) I really don't want to drive all over town. The last thing I want is for someone to shoot off their mouth, feelings get hurt, and we all know how that story ends...
Both options are a change of pace, but the wine and chocolate is a much better choice, no?
Now I just decide what I want to wear. I'm thinking my tattoo needs to come out and play. It's been far too long.
I must have forgotten (or missed) this part of the story. When did chicky!poo leave? I was under the impression they are still 'together', for lack of a better term.
ReplyDeleteThe chocolate and wine tasting is a great idea. A much better option than getting trashed for the sake of getting trashed. Like you, I'm also way over that mess. Chocolate and wine is much more fitting for a highly educated career woman, and the most likely place where you can make connections with like-minded people.
Jealousy is understandable. Don't be ashamed of it. It's a normal, rational emotion...and emotions make us human.
~Shane
Jealousy is a fairly normal emotion. Holding it in isn't always possible. Sometimes it's cruel and vindictive, it's direct and it's intentional. Other times it's not. When people play around with our hearts, it's almost impossible not to let jealousy seep in.
ReplyDeleteThe important part is that you're able to recognize that and want to change it.
<3