Last Friday Night

There are times when my filter is screwed on incredibly tight. I won't say a damn word, even though they are dancing on the tip of my tongue.

There are other times where my filter runs away with the dish and the spoon over the rainbow. These are the times I say whatever the hell I want.

Last night was more of the later then the former.

We had an event last night at work. I ended up sneaking in the backdoor, because that's how I roll sometimes. Anyway, I get there, and hoodie!boy is working the room, saying hello to different people, doing his thing. Then, he comes over to me, puts his hand on my shoulder/back and decides that he's going to introduce me to the president of our district and his wife.

This is around the time when my filter decides it's time for a vaycay.

Anyway, he's introducing me and saying how I started working here this year. I butt in and go "This year?!" He then corrects himself, saying that I've been working there for a year and a half, but I just started my new position this year. The president's wife makes a comment about how time flies when you have fun, and we both just kinda lamely go "Yeah... it really does." It was one of those awkward moments that you just can't stop.

Then, hoodie!boy leaves, but not before putting his hand on my back and whispers "My apologies" so that only I could hear him.

Not going to lie, I felt like kinda like an asshat. I didn't want to embarrass the guy, and I didn't know what he thought. As much as he plays otherwise, he really is sensitive. Like, it doesn't take a lot to get under his skin, something that I can relate to. My skin is getting tougher, and I know that he's had to develop a tough one as well, but that doesn't mean that it's a foolproof thing.

During the event he sang, and it was amazing. I knew he was really musically inclined ( put the guy in front of a piano and he'll start playing these crazy intricate pieces from memory), and I've heard him sing before, but this was different. This was much more of a hardcore sort of performance singing. Even one of our most cynical friends was impressed.

When it was all said and done, I was leaving with another mutual friend. He just waved to her, but then when he passed me he waved, said good night, and put his hand on my shoulder/back again. I'm assuming this means we're all okay. I mean, if he was truly upset with me, it would be more than just an hour or so before he would talk with me.

All of this is dovetailing with the idea that chicky!poo isn't around anymore. I haven't seen her in a while, and it seemed like she was *everywhere.* He was playing with me before Christmas, and then our interactions during this past week leads me to really think that she's run her course.

I could say a lot right now.
But I won't.
I'll simply leave it at this:
I have a pretty tall and pretty thick wall around my heart right now.